The Hidden Art of Spirituality

When I embarked on my spiritual journey it took me several years to understand this lesson. Integrating this is still an unfolding process. Sometimes it gets messy.

My naive eye overlooked and perhaps misunderstood what seemed to be an unimportant quality that later became the thorn in my side. This thorn was utterly small, almost unseeable to the naked eye, but excruciatingly painful. It’s sharp edges finding a way into my attention with such potent sting and nasty aftertaste in my attitude.

What is this thorn, you ask? I will explain. But first the story, then the lesson. The lesson wouldn’t be as astounding if it weren’t for the stark contrast that existed within the outer edges of my experience. After all, the light doesn’t exist without the dark. Right?

I would also note that perhaps this lesson is one that will continue to knock at the door until you are ready to answer, as it did for me. That is to say that this story might shift your perspective slightly, but you will still need to walk your path. The best way to learn is through your direct experience. I am only here to share mine as it might spark or shift something deep within you.

So here we go.

We each have an artist within us. And for those of you whose artist is actively flourishing within you, I humbly applaud you. Perhaps this story will unveil an even deeper truth for you, but for now, this will be an unfolding story for those who have lost touch with this inner artist and how they might reconnect, rekindle or unleash this hidden gem.

Spirituality, or the exploration of one’s true nature, requires a very unique kind of effort. This effort is distinct from the effort that is traditionally programmed, conditioned, and taught in western society.

Willpower Effort

If you are anything like me, you attribute many of your accomplishments in life to your work ethic, intelligence and ability to problem-solve, rationalize and communicate clearly. Whether it be sports, education, career, winning a debate or organizing your finances, there is a certain type of force that when applied consistently, is a catalyst for progress or great outcomes.

If you apply this kind of effort to your spiritual path, prepare for a long battle of endless resistance. Speaking from experience.

If you choose to apply willpower to your spiritual path like I did, it will manifest into various forms. You will continuously monitor your progress with a strategy to achieve enlightenment as quickly as possible. Any sign that progress is stagnant, you apply more force. You meditate longer, journal more, listen to more podcasts, read more books and try various healing practices. All with the belief that faster results require more effort and force.

It’s important to understand that there is nothing wrong with doing more of the above activities. The problem is rooted in the perspective, underlying structure, and the manner in which we apply more force. In essence, we believe that more force will create faster outcomes. After years of applying force in this manner within my spiritual journey, I hit a wall. My increasing effort resulted in no further progress. In fact, it resulted in even deeper agony the more effort I applied, leaving me feeling stuck and in complete disarray.

Something was not working. What was I doing wrong?

I was unaware of this at the time, but the years of work I committed myself to was gradually illuminating a part within me. A hidden artist. A part long forgotten that was now emerging from the depths. There was something particularly notable about the quality of her essence. She was not a picture. Nor could she be described. She had no form or tangible quality.

She was a process. A way of being or living that was embedded in something beyond herself.

My mind battled with this for what seemed like eternity. The mind would struggle to form a thought, construct, label or familiar image but this process failed again and again. The lesson presented itself, again and agin. The knocking continued to get louder to the extent of being intolerable.

To put it plainly, a time came when I was done putting up with my own shit. I was tired of walking in a circle, experiencing the same patterns and issues year after year.

That very moment when I allowed myself to recognize my situation with full acceptance and surrender, something startling happened. A wave of nothing but pure essence soaked my entire being. An experience to be aware of, a feeling to be felt, a way of being. It was if all the repressed emotions had space to move without the impediment of my mind.

It was a subtle but profound feeling of knowing something to a depth that penetrated rational thinking and entangled itself within the metaphysical background. A force so empty yet so full of unwavering truth.

I was a blank canvas, experiencing a moment of stillness before the first paint stroke is applied. No obligation to paint anything in particular but to paint with an intention to begin again from a place of empty presence.

The way of an artist is unlike the way I had lived most of my life. The effort that a true artist expresses, is just like a feather that flows with the wind. Each moment bringing a new sense of awe and wonder as it begins to play in a space of infinite possibility.

To create from love, for love.

Spiritual Devotion Effort

Wipe your canvas clean, empty your mind, and let your artist speak a most truthful tale through your beating heart. This ‘effort’ so poised, peaceful, yet more powerful than any other force.

To wipe your canvas clean, give yourself the honest grace of acknowledging where you are and what you’ve been avoiding. Give space for what needs space to move, sit in your stillness and allow what hasn’t been allowed before to surface with total acceptance and unconditional love. A courageous act indeed, but an act for those who desire a life that fills their hearts with love.

Our education system teaches us how to think with our minds. In life, we’re taught how to feel with our hearts.

The path of an artist is a spiritual one, for no distinction exists between the free flowing expression of one’s deepest truth and that which is. One cannot teach another what he or she is to create for no one knows you better than you know yourself. But your intelligence is beyond what any thought form can grasp within a finite mind.

That which is, is the way of an artist.

I don’t have the answers, but what I do know is that there is another way. There exists a place beyond constraints that you can experience in every moment. When you feel it, you will know.

See you on the inside.

Infinite Love — Nichelle